“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,” Charles Dickens wrote at the beginning of “A Tale of Two Cities.” While this quote was originally intended to describe the French Revolution, I find it to be an accurate descriptor of the experience of high school. Is that melodramatic? Sure, but if you take it at face value, certainly not wrong.
In no time of my life have I ever felt such drastic ups and downs like the ones I’ve experienced here and the problem is: Nobody warned me. A lot of people say high school was the best time of their life, others will tell you they despised it, but nobody gives the straight truth that it’s much more complicated than being “good” or “bad”. Whether you’re a Freshman, Sophomore, Junior, or (god bless you) an incoming Senior; I figured after doing my time in the brick walls of MCHS I’d give you a few things I wish I’d known before.
FRESHMEN…
DO AN EXTRA-CURRICULAR
A big part of high school is getting to know people outside your age group. You’re probably used to knowing mostly people in your grade, and that isolation is 10 fold at MCHS’s Freshman Campus. Maybe it’s not a “warzone” like a lot of people say it is — truth is, I don’t know — but regardless of if it’s a hellish landscape of juvenile fight videos or not, it’s extremely important to plant your roots somewhere that you can get to know upper-classmen.
Take it from me: Freshman year I joined MCHS Drama Club fully intending to keep to myself and talk to absolutely nobody. Why I joined a club with the intent to AVOID people, I’m not sure, but I ended up meeting a lot of people that were Sophomores, Juniors, and Seniors, who would end up having a big effect on me.
Personally, it made me feel much more accepted, and like I had something to strive for. Being alone at Freshman campus might throw you into the stigma that freshman and upperclassmen just don’t get along no matter what. The fact is, we’re all students, and all those kids who just got their driver’s license or are about to graduate were in your exact place not that long ago.
Join the cheer team, or play JV, or join the (championship winning) E-sports club for all I care just do something–anything–to get you out of the house. You might really like it, or meet interesting people, or discover something you didn’t realize you had a passion for before.
ADVICE FROM OTHER STUDENTS (OR FORMER STUDENTS)
“Be yourself. Stop worrying if wearing sweatpants makes you look stupid. Stop worrying if your eyeliner is messy. Stop worrying you look too emo and people won’t like you. You’re way too cool to worry about those things.” – Alayna Majkyrzak, Class Of 2023
“Walk faster in the hallways and don’t cut your hair into a bob.” – Michalina Sotka, Class of 2026
“Your middle school boyfriend is not your future husband.” – Alison Anthony, Class Of 2022
“If you find yourself in a group of people you do not want to hang out with for any reason, then you are completely valid in leaving that group. You don’t have to completely abandon them, but you can distance yourself and find people that you enjoy being around. Give yourself time for breaks from people. You can set aside time for self-care, and you are not forced to hang out with people. Do not stress about classes, and ask for help from teachers or friends if you need it.” – Sarah Zawedde-Kigozi, Class of 2027
“It’s okay to be nervous, but don’t let that stop you from meeting your people! Get yourself out there and do your work. Who cares what others think? They’re in the same boat as you.” – Freedom Tomasello, Class Of 2023
“High school is very intimidating, and it can be easy to expect a lot out of it with the way that it’s portrayed in movies and books, but don’t let yourself get too caught up in what COULD be. Let yourself explore and try things even if they don’t seem cool or ideal!” – Kennedy Tetour, Class Of 2023
SOPHOMORES…
DON’T OVER-DO IT
Last year you probably got the spiel about AP and Dual Credit and Honors and AP Dual Credit Honors and all these uber-difficult, super “I’m smart!” classes that look great on college applications. Guess what: They only look good on college applications if you pass; do not fall into the trap of taking a bunch of high level classes.
If you took my advice as a freshman and joined an extra-curricular, you already have that activity on your plate after school. I don’t care if you’re the brightest, most Harvard bound student out there; take so many high level classes and you’re going to have to pick either your sanity or your grades, and that’s not a good decision to make.
Don’t get me wrong; taking classes at your level is a good thing, and you should never do the bare minimum just because it’s easy. What you should do, is take AP or Dual Credit classes that genuinely interest you. Taking a bunch of hard classes isn’t the problem, the workload is the problem, and if you’re going to be doing 2 assignments a day for 2 semesters it ought to be about something you actually care about.
If you want to go to college and be a doctor, take a high level science class, and regular English II. Or, if you want to be a psychologist, or just find the topic interesting, take AP Psych and regular chemistry. I assure you there isn’t a college in the world that cares if you tried to take all AP classes and got straight D’s. However, most of them will notice when you take one or two AP classes and get an A, while also getting good grades in your other classes because you didn’t overload yourself.
ADVICE FROM OTHER STUDENTS (OR FORMER STUDENTS)
“It is so important to be social and have friends, but if the people around you aren’t supporting you or are constantly putting you down then you don’t need them in your life. Basically, don’t let other people put you down and walk all over you because you’re scared of being alone. You will be ok and you will make new and better friends.” – Kennedy Tetour, Class Of 2023
“Don’t let your confidence fade! Also the Senior you’re dating is a creep and not worth your time.” – Alison Anthony, Class Of 2022
“Keep pushing even though it’s draining. The outcome in the end will be worth all of your hard work. Don’t let toxicity get in your way.” – Afton Ingraffia, Class of 2026
“It is important to surround yourself with the proper crowd of people for what you need from friendships and to not stay in those friendships if they are not able to support you and your needs.” – Mackenzie Sroka, Class Of 2024
“Don’t let yourself get caught up in the flow of things. Take everything one step at a time and assess where you’re at.” – Alexander Bach, Class of 2025
“Pick and choose who you have around you, don’t be surrounded by people who bring you down or badly influence you just for the ideal of popularity or just having a lot of friends, have people who support you no matter what.” – Eliot Raymond, Class of 2027
JUNIORS…
DON’T OVER-DO IT (CONT.)
If you thought sophomore year was hard, try this on for size. Ask even the most optimistic of high school students and chances are they’ll tell you junior year is the hardest of the four on paper. The classes that you’ll find yourself in have the highest workload/work time ratio of any classes you’ll take probably in your whole life.
Here’s the strategy: Just cross the bridges as you come to them. What teachers and counselors won’t tell you is that a couple missing assignments or a bad project or a low test grade isn’t going to ruin your life. A big part of high school is learning how to exist as an adult, right? Part of that is learning how to prioritize your mental health.
You should do your work, yes, and you should get good grades, but I assure you if it means stressing yourself out to the point of near hospitalization: It’s not worth it in the slightest.
ADVICE FROM OTHER STUDENTS (OR FORMER STUDENTS)
“Literally just relax. School can be so overwhelming, and with the added stress of starting to plan what to do after high school, you deserve to take breaks and just let yourself exist sometimes.” – Kennedy Tetour, Class Of 2023
“You are not alone and there will always be someone there that cares about you. Grades are important but you are more important. You need to remember who you are and who you want to become rather than get lost in what others think.” – Mackenzie Sroka, Class Of 2024
“Think about your future, but don’t think about it too much. You still have time to enjoy high school, so enjoy it even if you hate it and it sucks. Enjoy the small bits that you truly love to the fullest.” – Alayna Majkyrzak, Class Of 2023
SENIORS…
TAKE A DEEP BREATH
It’s finally here. The end-all be-all that everyone has been telling you about since you were a kid in elementary school. College applications, scholarships, internships, apprenticeships, sinking ships; if it feels like a lot, that’s because it is a lot.
Listen; It may feel like you’re on the edge of the rest of your life. It might feel like you know exactly what you want. It may feel like you have no idea what you want. You might not have a plan. You might not know how to be an adult (in fact you probably don’t, even if you think you do). You might think you have it all figured out. You might be scared.
Whatever you’re feeling, it’s okay. It’s an overwhelming feeling to think that the rest of your life is right in front of you. Take a deep breath. The truth is: Your life has always been right in front of you. You just never noticed it before.
You’re not going to figure it out right away. Even the people who you think have it figured out– your parents, your friends, other students– they might not know what they’re doing either. Just because other people know what they’re trying to do for the rest of their life, or they already know what college they want to go to; none of that matters because we’re all just improvising.
Apply to college, or that internship, or get into the workforce, or join the military—whatever it is you want to do– even if you aren’t completely sure how it’s going to work out. Even if you don’t feel absolutely certain it’s going to work, do it because being unsure is a blessing. Being surprised, experiencing things you didn’t think you would be, is a blessing. Learning, and living life, and making mistakes, and not knowing, it’s okay. Nobody knows. Everyone makes mistakes.
Give yourself a little grace. Easier said than done, I know, but there’s no point in stressing yourself out because you don’t know exactly what you want to do, or where you want to be, or what’s going to work and what’s not after being a kid for 18 years because nobody does.
You’re going to be okay, and you’re going to figure it out. You’re not behind, and you’re no more confused and scared than anyone else. Walking into independence and your life is a scary, startling proposition, but life is about doing scary, startling things because if you always picked the safe option it’d be so boring and so miserable. It’s a leap of faith, really, and you have to have faith in yourself that you can do it. Even if you don’t know, I know you can, and eventually you’ll know too.
ADVICE FROM OTHER STUDENTS (OR FORMER STUDENTS)
“Celebrate all you’ve done instead of stressing about what you haven’t done.” – Gina Nomikoudus, Class Of 1998
“I am so happy I applied to all my colleges early, it has helped me feel ahead of the game.” – Olivia Bono, Class of 2025
“You’re at the end and things are about to get so much better for you. Lock in for these last difficult classes and enjoy the community of people you’ve built while you’re still surrounded by it. Life after high school seems so lonely but it is beautiful and you are going to have so much fun.” – Alison Anthony, Class Of 2022
“Don’t listen to the people who say senior year is a breeze. You should be challenged somewhat academically. You want to retain information for college. Spend time with people and the things you love in high school. It sucks, but you may not see some of those people you love very often after you graduate, so hold them close and do things you enjoy doing. Think about the future. Look forward to the future because you’ve finally made it to the future your freshman self had hoped for.” – Alayna Majkyrzak, Class Of 2023
EVERYONE…
NOTHING IS THE END OF THE WORLD
High school is a time of change, and with it, you’re going to grow apart from people. Your friends from middle school might change, or you might change, and maybe you won’t get along as much as before. Maybe you’ll start dating someone and it won’t work out. Maybe there’ll be some drama that drives a wedge between you and someone you really care for. Maybe you’ll mess up badly — worse than you ever had before — and all of the sudden you’re going to have to answer some difficult questions about yourself.
No matter what; Your world isn’t going to end. A lot of stuff is going to happen that’s going to really sting, but even if it feels like the world is ending, or you have nobody, you always do, and you always will. You never know who you’re going to meet the month after, the week after, or even the day after something horrible. You never know how happy or how successful or how much for the better you can change.
Things aren’t going to be the same once you get out of here, and it’s for the better if you try to take it in stride. Feel it when it hurts, and move on when it doesn’t, but always know it’s going to be okay eventually. You need to love it while it lasts, and let it be a memory when it’s gone. No matter how hard your classes are, or how much that breakup sucks, or how stressful the petty drama can be — no matter how much it feels like it’s all crashing down– come May it’s all going to go away, all the good, all the bad, and all the in between, and that’s okay.
Make your memories and make your mistakes because that’s how you grow, and that’s what high school is for. The more things change, the more they stay the same, and the never-ending truth of it all is when you graduate you get your clean slate, and your chance to show everyone, wherever you decide to go after, that you came out of it all better than you went in.
You’ve got this, whoever you are. It’s going to be a long road, but it’ll feel short when you look back, and it’s going to have its pros and cons, but just try to remember there’s no flowers without rain, and we’d never appreciate the sunshine if not for the clouds that cover it once in a while.
Just take it all in stride, and eventually you’ll look up and you’ll find yourself walking across a stage with a cap and gown.