Ask Elle: Feeling like a fifth wheel

Elle gives advice to a student left behind by a friend group

Elle Smith, Advice Columnist

Dear Elle: My friends have all been hanging out without me for quite some time now without telling me. Every time I bring it up to them, they get mad at me and say I’m overreacting and that I shouldn’t be mad at them. I don’t know how to react because I don’t want them to keep telling me I’m in the wrong, and I’m starting to feel really left out.

– Confused and Alone



I’m sorry to hear about all of this. It is always hard when you feel you are being excluded by people you trust and enjoy being around. It is very important here that you keep one thing in mind: What is it that makes these people valuable to you? 

You have to remember your own worth. You are wonderful and deserve friends who see your value and how important you truly are. If these friends are not doing that, they may not actually be good friends.

You may want to consider putting things on a trial basis, and giving them a set time to show you that they really care. If they do not show up, I would think about branching out and meeting some new people, because there are so many people who would be lucky to be your friend.

Need advice on school, work, love, life, or anything else that’s weighing you down? Email Elle at [email protected], and she may respond to your letter in the online or print edition of The McHenry Messenger.